Accomplished.

Today i had piano practice. I have a recital in 2 weeks. - On November 10th and November 17. I truly am nervous for them. I really don't want to mess up. Last week, my piano teacher scolded me for my lack of practice and lack of attendance  I was upset because piano was something i always loved and always played at. Now that i'm actually being judged and graded on it. It seems less and less like a hobby. Now it seems like a chore. I am so upset on how things used to be. My mom wont let me take a break. I feel like one of the Asians where the mother and father work them too hard. I must suck it up and start practicing more. So this week i did. I came home. I practiced. And today at piano lessons i was good. I think she was proud. No do overs this week. Im amazed and proud of my self. That feeling... I hope that it stays for a while. The feeling of accomplishment... I will try harder.

For those who are struggling with stress. Give it your all.

Once its over and you're put to the test and the teacher has nothing wrong to say,

The feeling is tremendous and relaxing to you.

Work hard to get that feeling.

Its worth it.

A Beautiful 16th Birthday

I had a great weekend with my close friends. It was Angeline's birthday so we decided to celebrate.

She wore a beautiful dress today. The blue really complimented her skin. 

She finally turned 16.

I hope she had a great birthday today <3 

 Throwing leaves up in the air like we just don't care.

I must say this looks better in the movies. I think small bits of hair are still in my hair.. I have to try to get this out..
We danced at a salsa club and had dinner at Burrito Bar And Kitchen.
They have great food overall. 

Have a good Sunday! 

Graffiti Me.

 Swagged Pictures in the Projects. 

I am in love with graffiti backgrounds. They are so REBEL and RISKY and OLD FASHIONED. I love it so much. I found this door while walking around with my friend Zipporah. I couldn't resist  I will take more pictures here. Sometimes you shouldn't just stay in the same area. Have fun and go other places. I feel really inspired to write a poem.. Coming soon.

Another beautiful day here in Brooklyn. 

Another week that i didn't post as much, i guess i just simply didn't have enough time to get to it. This week has been pretty stressful, with the PSAT's and different tests, leadership class, and different clubs. It feels really good to be involved but it can be overwhelming sometimes! I plan to get better in the managing of my time though. 

On Thursday, i came home to 2 new kids in my house. We got new foster kids! It was exciting, Because this time it was a baby (1 year old) and a little girl (5 year old) They are both so cute. So that upped my mood. 

Yesterday was my school's Halloween dance. As a part of my grade in leadership, i had to help set up and sell tickets and what not. Feels really good and the party was a huge success. 

This morning i woke up with arm sores. (I honestly don't get how) 

Pictures coming up soon! :)

Today was church, while singing i really felt a spirit in the room. I don't know, maybe it was just me. But the feedback was better. With clapping and amens. That's happens once in a blue moon! With my new foster kids, i had to change my little brother's dirty diaper continually. It was annoying but completely cute. 

Thats him! :) 

Happy Saturday! 

When i look at you

My best friend Rebecca. Even though we've gone through our ups and downs, though we are still in our own personal unsaid down. I still consider her my best friend.  Shes been there through my ups and downs. I still love her a lot. I've known her for so long and i still title her as best. I know that we will get back up there one day. I love you Rebecca. 

This picture is everything. 

Today was a good day. 

My church's five year anniversary was today. Together at AY, we talked on how we loved this church and what makes us stay and what we went through. It brought us closer. 

This morning, the windows were open, the house smelt like burnt popcorn. I shrugged it off and took a shower. Turns out, yesterday night, sometime at 1-3 o' clock in the morning, my sister woke up to several smoke alarms going off. Turns out, my dad fell asleep while making a plantain at high flame. There was smoke all over the first floor. I;m so thankful that she woke up to put the fire out. God has things happen for a reason. People are there and are notified for a reason. I'm so thankful and I thank him for allowing Marsha to wake up in the first place. 

Today got me really thinking about my ex for some reason. Though we never actually went out, i still am thinking about him. I really do miss him. But i cant give in. I've gotta be strong and continue on... I'm clueless what to do. 

Have a good Saturday! 

School of Society

Wearing 

Forever 21 Aztec Pullover 

American Eagle Denim Shirt 

Express Black skirt 

Soho Oxfords

I made class today! I almost was completely late, but i finished the test with time to spare. The Chem test turned out to be on old questions i had prior. I was extremely happy at that. Though calculator died on me this morning, things worked out for the best. 2nd period, I presented my piece. I finally finished it around 12 this morning! It actually came out pretty good. Here was my first Open Mic Thursday Poem :) The only downer to my day, is that my glasses broke =/ I hope my dad can fix them .

“School of Society” – Poem

“Ayo Ma. YERRR. Shawty with the cake!  You know what fuck you then.  SLUT! I heard you pregnant!”

She continues walking down the hallway of a demanding society. She cries softly on the inside as she lets go of her breath. Breathing in and out, Breathing hard, sighing. The huge cliques of society continues laughing, pointing. She tells herself to breathe; Inhale, Exhale. “She’s a slut. They say, “I heard she’s pregnant without a father” They say.  “Whore!” They yell. The ignorance grows stronger day by day. As rumors poured around her, people pointing and whispering, it kept her longing for someone who would listen to her. But there was never a wandering ear.  That girl, that poor virgin girl who kept walking down that hallway, had a secret. A secret no other person seemed to care about.  She had no one. 

She didn’t just give up her virginity, her soul, her all. That girl was raped. Because of the society she enrolled herself into, known for a lack of people skills, and high judgment, her rapist didn’t even know he was a rapist. Learned in curriculum, Society taught the rapist that it wasn’t his fault. She is the one that drank too much. Her shorts were too short, she was asking for it. As it’s over, that rapist leaves her in a parking garage staircase. “An E for Effort” Society says.  As she arose from the aftermath, she told her boyfriend, hoping he would understand, but that’s not how Society raised him. He does what Society tells him. He opens his notebook, finds his notes. “Got it” He spits in her face.

He calls her a whore. He calls her slut. Society gave him an A+. “She deserved it.” They say. She walks down the hallway, towards her friends. The friends she thought she had, the ones she thought she trusted, but they just looked at her. They looked at her like they would a cat, just ran over on the freeway. Not realizing the truth. That it could have been them in her position as well. 

This is culture. This is your culture, my culture. This is her culture. This is society. We are the ones that told them, told her; that it was her fault and she suffered. But her rapist doesn’t know he’s a rapist. She walks to get her final grade. Society hands back her report card and says “I’m Sorry slut, you’ve failed but oh my the rest of you, passed with flying colors.” 

Music Day 2012

Today was a great success overall.
My church's Music Day ended up great. All the seats in the house was full!
The day consisted of amazing praise and song. I'm glad that everyone had a good time.

If only i could capture the moment like he is. <3 This picture is priceless. 

Offguard picture of Samuel. 

Priceless. 

The week is Over!

This weeks outfits ! 

And once again it is Friday. I love Fridays so much .

Wearing 

Humanties Hunter Green Cardigan

Leather Shorts (FAVE)

Chesnut Polo Boots 

Black Small Dress 

Walking around the ave with my mother, buying school uniform for my new foster sister, Oneisha.
I didn't realize there were so many photo ops around this area. Specific parts of the Ave are actually very beautiful! I plan on taking pictures around the area! I bought a lot of stockings of many colors. I need that this year, more non see through colored stockings!

Wearing 

Second Hand Black Dress

Oxfords- Necessary Clothing 

American Eagle denim jacket

I was thinking , mix prints!

I mixed polka dot with this glittered collar shirt. !

Wearing 

Forever 21 Glitter Collard Sheer Shirt

Blue Polka Dot Thrifted Pants 

Spiked Shoes - Necessary Clothing

Leaves! So beautiful this time of year.

Wearing 

Thrifted Tan Sweater ( MUST HAVE FOR EVERY PERSON'S CLOSET)

Thrifted Burgandy Plaid Oxford Shirt

Second Hand Mini skirt 

Brown Combats 

My friend Taylor. Looking real dressed up. :)

 Mitchell is brilliant with Photoshop. He needs to teach me how he does this ! 

The marking period ends next week and i am scared to see what my grades will be for Chemistry. I have missed that class so many times because it is so early in the morning! My first class starts at 7:30. So i have to wake up at 5 and be at the bus at 6:30. If I miss that one bus or if it comes early or doesn't come at all, i am screwed. And so far, i have missed that class 8 times =/ I seriously need to get myself together. Since i am in leadership now, i have to represent a leader not only physically (helping out in school events) but mentally and academically. So, for next marking period i have to make a promise to myself. I need to start taking class more seriously. I need to get up and go!

Leadership, this week we had to work on Halloween Signs for the dance, along with design a hoodie for ourselves and collect candy from the classes.
My 3 signs;

Besides that, this week was a good week.Another week without my phone. i actually don't even miss it as much. i think it consumed a lot of my time! Instead, I hung out with my friends and just felt more confident. It increases every week. I got equalized into a new Spanish class, I'm happy that my friend Heidi was in it, as she was last year!

 I decided not to post every single day this week, because i had too much homework to do. Speaking of work, i need to get my piano life in order! I have a recital next month and i haven't practiced in two weeks. My keyboard piano is broken now, and i'm not sure what exactly to do anymore. My teacher will be very disappointed in me. I need to fix that up and practice hard. To me, i always loved playing the piano. I always made covers to songs and what not. But as my mother put me in serious piano lessons, i have felt less interested. Yeah i know its for my benefit in the end, but i don't want to give up my dream of playing and mastering the piano. But it seems as if my hobby is becoming a chore because of of the pressure of lessons.

Today, my praise team and I practiced for 3 hours. It was stressful, especially because my head hurt so bad. I hit my head on the sink while sneezing. 2nd worst pain ever. So, with the singing over and over and the loud piano and drums behind me, it was more overwhelming.

I'm glad that I'm home now, in my little bed. Tomorrow there is a Music Day at my church. I hope its a great success. We really worked hard for it.

Happy Friday! :)