I am a fond believer that heartbreak, bad memories, and cons all inspire creativity.
Beastly.
Ever since birth, people say that we were destined. Caasi and I were enthralled of the idea. We fell in love and decided to move forward, as “destiny” allowed us. Him and I borrowed and mixed the words of our families and friends with cobblestone and marble to build the walls of our home. The love I had for him shaped the roof and spacious windows, as his love for me molded the arc, allowing us to enter. We walked down the aisle and held hands under the arc. Our tower was finally complete.
It was an amazing year. I danced around the room while Caasi laughed and clapped along. Together we created everything out of anything. I blared music and we created art together in the open space. I taught him to dance along with me. We ate red velvet cake in nothing but our underwear. He was there with my downfalls, as I was for his. We watched the sunsets. He took care of me while I was sick. Some nights we eased back and listened to classical music while watching the moon. We stood up long nights, simply talking to each other about everything. I was horribly in love with Caasi. He made me feel whole.
Early in the mornings I caught myself gazing at his structure. I looked into his amber eyes. I felt his hairless body. Caasi was simply a beautiful being. Every time I saw him, I felt so much spark driven inside of me. He kissed me with such passion. I continually placed with his soft hair, kissed his neck, as he wrapped his arms around me. I smelled his skin, sensing such a strong cologne that left me weak in the knees for him. I lived on, in the best years of my life. The walls sang “Destiny. Perfect Match. Forever. Soulmate.” repeatedly and rocked us both to
sleep.
Time went on.
A year and a few months passed.
I realized that we both were changing. As I got more and more involved, Caasi grew quieter and listless. He stopped the effort in making me happy. He stopped showing love. The communication lessened. He stayed alone in his West Chamber. And every time I walked by, he looked different. He seemed to be getting taller and his body seemed more hairy than usual. I couldn't have been seeing things. Our personalities became as grand as the space between our chambers.
And I started to fall out of love with him.
The stones of the tower started cracking.
But the walls started to blare “Destiny”. Every living clock, candlestick, and chinaware danced around the room, singing “Perfect Match.” “Forever.” “Soulmate.” I couldn't devastate them. The sounds swayed around the room till my mind picked up on the words.
“Destiny. Perfect Match. Forever. Soulmate.” I repeated to myself. I was brainwashed. I memorized the “beautiful” melody and I stayed in this tower. I noticed that the tune played louder every time I noticed changes in Caasi. As I sang along, vines twirled around the cracks and held the tower together. We continued to sleep on different sides of the Wing. Months went by. Rather than speaking on the problems that were transparent, I sang the melody every day to keep myself motivated for our future. In doing so, the big windows closed up day by day. The arcs grew doors and locked themselves.
I gazed at Caasi truly one afternoon. Hoping to see what I saw in him, years ago. Hoping to feel the spark driven in me towards him. I felt nothing. I was amazed at what I saw. His amber eyes were glassy and cold as marble. His white sclerae flamed red. He stenched of wet dog. He stood upright, brolic, now over eight feet tall. The sweaty hands that I loved to hold onto were replaced with these dirty paws and long black claws grew at the tips of them. He was a monstrous beast.
The walls started talking again. “Destiny. Perfect Match. Forever. Soulmate.”
And I was trapped inside of them.
The voices went on and on. “DESTINY! DESTINY! DESTINY!” The previously labeled melody became horribly irritating. The noise drove me insane.He noticed me standing behind him and came to hug me. He hugged my body and I came to my senses.
I no longer was in love with him.
I felt as if he clutched only onto a body. The spark had subsided, the connection failed. My living, breathing flesh resided here but my soul did not. He sensed my resistance and hugged me tighter. His claws dug into my back. His breath blew colder. His fur was overheating me. His sudden strength left me gasping for air. I was suffocating. My eyes boggled and underwent vertigo. I was held accountable for this fatigue. I was in so deep, and I pushed myself too far in the trail of denial.
My arms dropped. The ceiling started falling. Stones smashed down around us. I forced myself away from his grasp. We were the living propaganda and I couldn't lie to myself any longer.
“I can’t do this.”
The doors and windows shattered open.
I felt your presence behind me. Hoping my next move wouldn’t be the end.
I ran out of the broken doorway.
I heard the tower fall down bit by bit behind me.
You roared angrily to the moon.
I told myself I would never look back.
So. I walked on. Step after step. A foot in front of the other. Pacing. Jogging. Head straight forward. Breathing. Running. Stopping.
Walking again.
Eleven months passed. I started seeing a pattern in my surroundings. Countless numbers of women looked the same. Heads bowed.The smiles on their faces were now replaced with pouting lips. Why? I asked myself. What was wrong with these people? I walked on. I started noticing a few similarities. Their arms, legs, and faces were severely scratched with the mark of a beast. “What happened to you?” I asked a woman named Aneres Her head remained bowed. She started to cry. Aneres pointed to the the hill where our tower used to be. Caasi plagued them with this emotional disformationality. Month after month, lady after lady. My loved ones - I watched him hurt them. I stopped in my tracks and looked back. The tower was replaced by blank air and shattered stones. Only an arc remained standing.
I looked up the hill that our tower used to stand. Rubble and smoke fell down the hills yet the arc stood tall. He remained stuck on the past while I moved on and he resented me for that. The beast came racing down the hill towards me, hungry to hurt and burn another girl with the mark of the beast. I didn't budge. While running towards me a similar scent came to his nose. The beast slowed in its tracks until we were just a few feet away from each other. I couldn't recognize him anymore. He stood larger than he ever did. His teeth were sharper and longer. His voice bellowed.The hairy battered his chest and broke all that stood in front of him.
The towns people’s voices flooded through my head as I walked more towards him. “How could someone ever love a beast?” Suddenly the thought dissolved as his eyes met mine. His stopped in his trail. We stood in the midst of destruction. I took a few steps towards him. His cold eyes suddenly omitted faint flickers of amber. It was Caasi for sure. I still loved him. I knew he remembered the past just as I. He stood there helpless, unaware of his next move. I heard the soft whimpers between each deathly growl from his mouth. I stepped towards him over the footprints I thought I wouldn’t ever walk on again.
I met him at the arc in the midst of the rubble. I knew his love for me was still there. We gazed at each others eyes. He stood there breathing heavily but his body remained cold and statured as marble. I knew what I had to do to end the hatred in him. I picked my arms up and wrapped it around the body that was replaced with this thick fur. His gentle whimper roared rambunctiously. I clenched onto him tighter. His eyes widened as the dark glassy cataracs began to shatter and let in miraculous bits of violet amber. I practically squeezed now. He howled barbarically and lifted his claws in instinct to attack.
I raised my head and kissed his cold lips. His mind sent signals that moved down the spinal cord, through his veins, towards his claw to attack in response but it was interrupted. My body pushed in the love and adoration that he lacked. His pupils dilated while his mind went through nostalgia as he reflected on the past of the tower we built. The good, the bad, the rise, the fall, the love, the hate, the perfected construction towards the mass destruction.
His heart was black from the longing of love but it began to glow. His soul began trembling, fur was now shedding, sharp teeth vanishing, skin piercing, roar subsiding, the light in his eyes now omitting, his ferocious claws now reduced into the sweaty hands that used to hold mine. He dropped his arms from the air. They slid down towards my shoulder, my back then to my waist. He held it tighter. The extra bones crackled off as his being developed back to the human body God blessed him with. His cold lips warmed, transformed from thin to the thick full lips I used to love. He pressed them more against mines.
I broke from this kiss and look at this transformed man. And as his pupils resided, his beautiful amber eyes met mines. He fell down to his knees and held my waist tightly. His head rested on my shoulder. He began to sob. The tears ran down my eyes when I realized that only I could tame this beast he morphed into. All he needed was someone to love him rather than judge him. He needed me. We remained still in the ruins we both caused.
“I love you more than I did before. And if today I don't see your face. Nothing has changed. No one can take your place. It gets harder every day. ” He said softly to me.
“I love you more Caasi. And I’m sorry that its this way. But I’m coming home.With you I’m home.”
I let go of the grasp and picked up a regular stone through the rubble.
“And if you asked me I will stay” I whispered into his ears.
"How about we start this again?" He smiled at me.
I smiled back at him. "Destiny. Perfect Match. Soulmates." I started to say.
I took the stone and striked it across his head until the blood poured out his ears. He lay as a corpse on the ground.
"Forever and Always"
The arc collapsed becoming one with the rubble.
It was over.
I took the bloody stone, raised it above my head and dropped it.
The impact on my skull cut off the blood flow.
My dead body fell on top of Caasi's.
"Forever and Always" they had told us.
I gave them what they wanted.
Now Caasi was calm.
Only I can tame the beast.
It was an amazing year. I danced around the room while Caasi laughed and clapped along. Together we created everything out of anything. I blared music and we created art together in the open space. I taught him to dance along with me. We ate red velvet cake in nothing but our underwear. He was there with my downfalls, as I was for his. We watched the sunsets. He took care of me while I was sick. Some nights we eased back and listened to classical music while watching the moon. We stood up long nights, simply talking to each other about everything. I was horribly in love with Caasi. He made me feel whole.
Early in the mornings I caught myself gazing at his structure. I looked into his amber eyes. I felt his hairless body. Caasi was simply a beautiful being. Every time I saw him, I felt so much spark driven inside of me. He kissed me with such passion. I continually placed with his soft hair, kissed his neck, as he wrapped his arms around me. I smelled his skin, sensing such a strong cologne that left me weak in the knees for him. I lived on, in the best years of my life. The walls sang “Destiny. Perfect Match. Forever. Soulmate.” repeatedly and rocked us both to
sleep.
Time went on.
A year and a few months passed.
I realized that we both were changing. As I got more and more involved, Caasi grew quieter and listless. He stopped the effort in making me happy. He stopped showing love. The communication lessened. He stayed alone in his West Chamber. And every time I walked by, he looked different. He seemed to be getting taller and his body seemed more hairy than usual. I couldn't have been seeing things. Our personalities became as grand as the space between our chambers.
And I started to fall out of love with him.
The stones of the tower started cracking.
But the walls started to blare “Destiny”. Every living clock, candlestick, and chinaware danced around the room, singing “Perfect Match.” “Forever.” “Soulmate.” I couldn't devastate them. The sounds swayed around the room till my mind picked up on the words.
“Destiny. Perfect Match. Forever. Soulmate.” I repeated to myself. I was brainwashed. I memorized the “beautiful” melody and I stayed in this tower. I noticed that the tune played louder every time I noticed changes in Caasi. As I sang along, vines twirled around the cracks and held the tower together. We continued to sleep on different sides of the Wing. Months went by. Rather than speaking on the problems that were transparent, I sang the melody every day to keep myself motivated for our future. In doing so, the big windows closed up day by day. The arcs grew doors and locked themselves.
I gazed at Caasi truly one afternoon. Hoping to see what I saw in him, years ago. Hoping to feel the spark driven in me towards him. I felt nothing. I was amazed at what I saw. His amber eyes were glassy and cold as marble. His white sclerae flamed red. He stenched of wet dog. He stood upright, brolic, now over eight feet tall. The sweaty hands that I loved to hold onto were replaced with these dirty paws and long black claws grew at the tips of them. He was a monstrous beast.
The walls started talking again. “Destiny. Perfect Match. Forever. Soulmate.”
And I was trapped inside of them.
The voices went on and on. “DESTINY! DESTINY! DESTINY!” The previously labeled melody became horribly irritating. The noise drove me insane.He noticed me standing behind him and came to hug me. He hugged my body and I came to my senses.
I no longer was in love with him.
I felt as if he clutched only onto a body. The spark had subsided, the connection failed. My living, breathing flesh resided here but my soul did not. He sensed my resistance and hugged me tighter. His claws dug into my back. His breath blew colder. His fur was overheating me. His sudden strength left me gasping for air. I was suffocating. My eyes boggled and underwent vertigo. I was held accountable for this fatigue. I was in so deep, and I pushed myself too far in the trail of denial.
My arms dropped. The ceiling started falling. Stones smashed down around us. I forced myself away from his grasp. We were the living propaganda and I couldn't lie to myself any longer.
“I can’t do this.”
The doors and windows shattered open.
I felt your presence behind me. Hoping my next move wouldn’t be the end.
I ran out of the broken doorway.
I heard the tower fall down bit by bit behind me.
You roared angrily to the moon.
I told myself I would never look back.
So. I walked on. Step after step. A foot in front of the other. Pacing. Jogging. Head straight forward. Breathing. Running. Stopping.
Walking again.
Eleven months passed. I started seeing a pattern in my surroundings. Countless numbers of women looked the same. Heads bowed.The smiles on their faces were now replaced with pouting lips. Why? I asked myself. What was wrong with these people? I walked on. I started noticing a few similarities. Their arms, legs, and faces were severely scratched with the mark of a beast. “What happened to you?” I asked a woman named Aneres Her head remained bowed. She started to cry. Aneres pointed to the the hill where our tower used to be. Caasi plagued them with this emotional disformationality. Month after month, lady after lady. My loved ones - I watched him hurt them. I stopped in my tracks and looked back. The tower was replaced by blank air and shattered stones. Only an arc remained standing.
I looked up the hill that our tower used to stand. Rubble and smoke fell down the hills yet the arc stood tall. He remained stuck on the past while I moved on and he resented me for that. The beast came racing down the hill towards me, hungry to hurt and burn another girl with the mark of the beast. I didn't budge. While running towards me a similar scent came to his nose. The beast slowed in its tracks until we were just a few feet away from each other. I couldn't recognize him anymore. He stood larger than he ever did. His teeth were sharper and longer. His voice bellowed.The hairy battered his chest and broke all that stood in front of him.
The towns people’s voices flooded through my head as I walked more towards him. “How could someone ever love a beast?” Suddenly the thought dissolved as his eyes met mine. His stopped in his trail. We stood in the midst of destruction. I took a few steps towards him. His cold eyes suddenly omitted faint flickers of amber. It was Caasi for sure. I still loved him. I knew he remembered the past just as I. He stood there helpless, unaware of his next move. I heard the soft whimpers between each deathly growl from his mouth. I stepped towards him over the footprints I thought I wouldn’t ever walk on again.
I met him at the arc in the midst of the rubble. I knew his love for me was still there. We gazed at each others eyes. He stood there breathing heavily but his body remained cold and statured as marble. I knew what I had to do to end the hatred in him. I picked my arms up and wrapped it around the body that was replaced with this thick fur. His gentle whimper roared rambunctiously. I clenched onto him tighter. His eyes widened as the dark glassy cataracs began to shatter and let in miraculous bits of violet amber. I practically squeezed now. He howled barbarically and lifted his claws in instinct to attack.
I raised my head and kissed his cold lips. His mind sent signals that moved down the spinal cord, through his veins, towards his claw to attack in response but it was interrupted. My body pushed in the love and adoration that he lacked. His pupils dilated while his mind went through nostalgia as he reflected on the past of the tower we built. The good, the bad, the rise, the fall, the love, the hate, the perfected construction towards the mass destruction.
His heart was black from the longing of love but it began to glow. His soul began trembling, fur was now shedding, sharp teeth vanishing, skin piercing, roar subsiding, the light in his eyes now omitting, his ferocious claws now reduced into the sweaty hands that used to hold mine. He dropped his arms from the air. They slid down towards my shoulder, my back then to my waist. He held it tighter. The extra bones crackled off as his being developed back to the human body God blessed him with. His cold lips warmed, transformed from thin to the thick full lips I used to love. He pressed them more against mines.
I broke from this kiss and look at this transformed man. And as his pupils resided, his beautiful amber eyes met mines. He fell down to his knees and held my waist tightly. His head rested on my shoulder. He began to sob. The tears ran down my eyes when I realized that only I could tame this beast he morphed into. All he needed was someone to love him rather than judge him. He needed me. We remained still in the ruins we both caused.
“I love you more than I did before. And if today I don't see your face. Nothing has changed. No one can take your place. It gets harder every day. ” He said softly to me.
“I love you more Caasi. And I’m sorry that its this way. But I’m coming home.With you I’m home.”
I let go of the grasp and picked up a regular stone through the rubble.
“And if you asked me I will stay” I whispered into his ears.
"How about we start this again?" He smiled at me.
I smiled back at him. "Destiny. Perfect Match. Soulmates." I started to say.
I took the stone and striked it across his head until the blood poured out his ears. He lay as a corpse on the ground.
"Forever and Always"
The arc collapsed becoming one with the rubble.
It was over.
I took the bloody stone, raised it above my head and dropped it.
The impact on my skull cut off the blood flow.
My dead body fell on top of Caasi's.
"Forever and Always" they had told us.
I gave them what they wanted.
Now Caasi was calm.
Only I can tame the beast.
Ahhhh this is perfect.
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