After a night of double stuffed Oreos, fake grape soda, Naruto video games and nail polish, the nostalgia finally came upon us around 7 in the morning. Zipporah and I woke up this morning with the feeling of wanting to do something productive with our lives, so we strolled to the nearest nail salon. We walked out with the scent and look of beauty. Reeked of acetone and nail dusts, fresh makeup and carried holes in out pockets due to the overpriced pedicures. i actually want to do this more often - hanging out with friends during the weekends and breaks. I feel like I have been super distant towards everyone. Whether its isolation, lack of communication, or being preoccupied. It sucks really. This morning the weather set a cool tone as I walked round in my favorite pair of shorts. While walking back, Zipporah and I were hollered at by gang members who followed us down the block until we finally had to turn back. Most scariest thing and funniest moment in my life. Im used to the ignorance of the men in the "hood", but today, was ridiculous and I am glad that I was able to share that moment with her.
Mind my ranting. I will probably do this about once a week. I tend to get carried away.
Forever young. Forever Lost.
So, I have written about this before but there's one point of my life in which I truly regret. During the year 2010, I think I was in 7th grade, My mom went through one of my diaries. I came home and she was simply plopped on my bed flipping through the pages. I know that she was really searching for it.That diary was definitely hidden underneath 4 sets of pillows, in the sleeve of the last pillow. How did she possibly..? I walked in, saw her, shrieked in my mind and walked out. I knew what I was about to be scolded for. Ugh the curses I usually don’t say out loud were all written in that journal. Along with boy crushes, the reality of middle school (me being bullied), kissing and “boyfriends”. Oh boy. I was in for it. The average Haitian mother scolding. Yeesh. She disregarded anything else in that book except for the guy parts. During the time, I was going out” with a guy in my church named Noah. She started with, “So now you come to church for boys eh? We gon fix that! In a severe Haitian accent. She threatened to switch churches. I got scared. That day I threw away all of my journals. All the way from kindergarten to the 7th grade. All gone. Down the drain. I wish I could look back on the memories I had. But now they have been thrown away, grinded together and probably turned into compost. All my memories are probably growing a townsman's tomatoes. And I bet they are the best tomatoes in the world. Ugh. My memories are forever lost. Down the drain. Down the sewer drain to be exact. Forever Lost.
I love how I feel when I listen to old throwbacks of the songs we used to love, memorize, download on lime-wire, and burn a cd from it. I miss how things used to be. I feel like the world is being too consumed on technology. I mean, most improved technology is good. The phones, tv’s and gadgets. Change is good at times, but I miss the times when things were simpler. When every young girl’s biggest dream was to have a big doll house as big as them, with a massive set of Barbie, Bratz or Myscene dolls with outfits and accessories. As the Disney classics played, such as Matilda and Cinderella, I wanted to be princess. PBS aired and I dreamed of being a ballerina like Angelina. Ed, Edd, and Eddy made me want to run outside, grab a few friends, eat jaw breakers and build cool hangouts and tree houses. Kim Possible and Harriet the Spy sparked my imagination to be a secret agent and try to do everything. I would around listening to Disney Classic songs and act them out in the midst of my room. Where teenagers snuck into drive in movie theaters and made out in the backseat. Hilary Duff and Raven Baxter made us want to either act like we were physic or dress terribly fashionable in school. We caught the slang of “You lil nasty”. Kid and Play sparked a new hip dance. Boys played Yu-gi-oh and battled it out in Pokemon wars. Younger boys were ecstatic to see a fresh pack of legos, toy blocks, and little toy soldiers. Families gathered together while playing charades and board games. Now they stick to themselves on their gadgets. Back then, since everything was new, everyone was inspired by everything. Both young and older generations. Now, everyone is lazy. No one wants to do anything anymore. The good shows stopped playing and is replaced by new shows with bad plots or reality television. The tv screens got larger and our channels went beyond 2,000 while people got lazier and lacked imagination. I feel that the world is trying to make everything more modern. If i see another Disney classic remake like Beastly and Jack the Giant Slayer, I’m going to flip. I can’t even count how many Cinderellas there are. (Actually i’m not going to front, both were pretty good, but hey the point is made.) Animation is slowly dying out. Everyone wants a role, everyone wants to be seen. Now its more about the performing rather than the art. I miss the old cartoons. When cartoon network, nickelodeon, and Disney Channel used to be filled with shows that it was rare if a show played for a whole hour. Too many shows are being cancelled. Toys are becoming too advanced. Family time is non existent. It sucks. I dream of the simpler times.
Top 5 websites you visit and why
Facebook - Since I don’t have a phone, its my only way of contacting people. So I always am on. I think its becoming an addition, and I need to stop. Struggling.
Tumblr - Ugh who can live without it. Its simply amazing. Its the site to inspire, spark emotions, and find old music or search pictures of anything.
Lookbook - My fashion source. I get so inspired from this site. find fashion blogs to read and post looks of my own to inspire others.
Blogger- The source of my personal blog, which is actually getting pretty popular so you should check it out too, http://www.fashionofaminor.blogspot.com
My bad habits
>Staying on facebook and tumblr too long and procrastinating before I have to get important work done.
>Falling in “love” with the same type of person over and over which leads to hurt.
>Picking at my scabs
>Squinting my eyes
>Wanting too much things I can’t afford. LOL.
Woah. I recall when we were younger, we spoke of spiders or ghosts, scary movies or how worms in spaghetti. Now, people want a more serious answer. Its not just about what scares you. No, it’s what is your biggest fear?
Cause great fear or nervousness in; frighten
An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
What I am scared of is the dropping feeling when you get on a rollercoaster. But I beat that feeling every time as I get upon one. At the end, after conquering my phobia, I say, Wow, that was fun. My biggest fear however is, what if my religion, my believing in God, my following his commandments, studying the bible - What if it wasn’t real. What if there was no point. What if he doesn't exist? All of the work the sins, the prayer, the studies, the faith, the repent would all be for nothing. What if there is no heaven and we just die? What happens then? The thought of everything I believe in to be false truly is my deepest fear. With all the religions out there, I sometimes catch myself second guessing mines. With all the atheists, and those who have so much questions on the impact of religion truly has me pondering about the here on after. But I shake of the thought, say that I am thinking crazy and move on. But the thought, of there not being a God scares me. It is my deepest fear.